Carolyn Parkhurst ( @CParkhurst1 ) Twitter Profile


Carolyn Parkhurst

NYT bestselling author of four novels: The Dogs of Babel, Lost & Found, The Nobodies Album & Harmony. Plus that Eloise piece from the New Yorker.

Washington, DC

Joined on 11 March, 2010

  • 250 Tweets
  • 2.3k Following

So once when my son was little, we were at a park and I said "Watch where you step, there's a lot of goose poop." He said, "What's goose poop?" and I said "Poop from a goose" & that's why I can no longer listen to Kiss From A Rose without singing my own truly disgusting lyrics.

 9  5  0

Why am I disappointed to realize it's not Friday when time has no meaning anymore anyway?

 12  0  1

My daughter doesn't have school ("school") today, so she & my husband went out on a hike. It's the first time any family members have been out of the house for any significant time for like 2 months, and the dog CANNOT figure out how to deal with it.

 7  1  0

Shopping for dresses for a middle school Zoom graduation! Not the way we expected it to go, and she'll probably only be visible from the neck up, but honestly this is the most exciting thing I've done in weeks.

 7  0  0

I mean, I guess it’s possible that the anger I’m feeling toward Elon Musk and Grimes might not be entirely about Elon Musk and Grimes.

 7  1  0

By now, shouldn't we have a lesbian reboot of "The Princess Bride" where Buttercup ends up with the female version of Inigo Montoya?

 9  3  0

On this date in 1997, the computer Deep Blue beat Garry Kasparov at chess. And on this date in 2020, I accidentally paused a game of Mario Kart with my kids and had to hand over my controller because I didn’t know how to fix it myself.

 10  1  0

It's interesting how pretty much everyone on earth would agree with the statement "There are a lot of stupid people in the world," but we all have different criteria for deciding who those people are.

 11  0  0

Replying to @Danchaon: Five months into 2020 and I would like to take this opportunity to give the finger to the reviewers who said my plot twists w…

 0  0  98

Five months into 2020 and I would like to take this opportunity to give the finger to the reviewers who said my plot twists were "unrealistic."

 1,420  17  98

Unexpectedly, the answer to all of today's problems was: onion dip.

 16  1  0

It is fine and normal that the dishes pile up faster than we can wash them, and that there are a zillion empty seltzer cans in the living room, and that sometimes when I say I'm going upstairs to work, I close the door and watch Schitt's Creek by myself. All fine. All normal.

 16  1  1

In case you missed it, this is a great piece about tweens and teens during our current strange times by @judithwarner, whose new book, AND THEN THEY STOPPED TALKING TO ME: Making Sense of Middle School, comes out today.

 2  1  0

I'm learning that I live in a very artistically rich neighborhood

 3  0  0

My dog just tapped my Kindle with her paw and changed the font size. I didn't even know she could read. Or that she probably needs glasses.

 21  2  0

Husband and I are in the living room, giggling and sending each other TikTok links while the kids do very serious distance learning in the next room

 6  3  0

I almost wrote "first semester (at least)" but it had too many characters and also LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU I'M WEARING A JACUZZI SUIT

 1  1  0

My son just made his college choice, and I'm feeling so sad for this whole nation of seniors who are missing their graduations and probably spending their first semester of college online. But my god are these kids going to have something to talk about at their reunions.

 15  5  0

“Comorbid” would be a good title for a rom-com about a zombie couple

 6  1  0

Just overheard my son saying to his math teacher, "Can you talk about the Pirate Principle, r - 1i ?"

(You may need to say it out loud for maximum impact...)

 12  0  0

This is important to remember: You know that voice in your head that points out all your flaws and reminds you of all the worst things you've ever done? That voice is an unreliable narrator.

 75  6  10