Elizabeth Hackett ( @LizHackett ) Twitter Profile

LizHackett

Elizabeth Hackett

I write. I have a dog named Larry. Don't tell my parents I'm on here.

Los Angeles, CA

Joined on 22 May, 2009

  • 177 Tweets
  • 78.4k Followers
  • 1.5k Following

It's a night to lie down like you're staring at the ceiling of your childhood living room, imagining what good things might happen in the future.

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Replying to @AC360: "He's hiding in a bunker and he's embarrassed... so what does he have to do? He has to sick police on peaceful protesters so he…

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"He's hiding in a bunker and he's embarrassed... so what does he have to do? He has to sick police on peaceful protesters so he can make a big show of being...the little big man."
@AndersonCooper on reports Trump created his own photo-opp because he was angry with news coverage.

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Humanity is ruined by humans.

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Vote. And floss your teeth.

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Replying to @sarahcpr: Our reality right now feels like God trying out premises at an open mic

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Our reality right now feels like God trying out premises at an open mic

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Replying to @CaseyGerald: They’re moving faster to stop an uprising than they did to stop a plague now ain’t that some shit.

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Replying to @RexChapman: Genesee County Sheriff (Flint, Michigan) Chris Swanson put down his helmet and baton and asked protesters how he could help…

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She began that day as she began all days, scrolling through newsfeeds again and again, like a woman in a "World's Best Grandma" sweatshirt pulling the lever on a Vegas slot machine with an unashed cigarette dangling from her mouth.

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Genesee County Sheriff (Flint, Michigan) Chris Swanson put down his helmet and baton and asked protesters how he could help.

The protesters chanted "walk with us" so the Sheriff joined — and walked alongside the protesters in solidarity.

Leadership.🌎❤️

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The Midnight West Coast Insomnia Club is arranging chairs and gearing up for tonight's meeting. If you're out of words, welcome. We're all out of words.

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They’re moving faster to stop an uprising than they did to stop a plague now ain’t that some shit.

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It's 1:48 AM. You can't sleep. Underneath your bed, there's a creepy rustle as the clown tries to quietly unwrap and eat a Snickers bar.

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Replying to @robwhisman: so do we just like go to sleep now or what

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so do we just like go to sleep now or what

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Tonight's Midnight West Coast Insomnia Club is being rescheduled for a group Zoom where we all silently scroll the newsfeed and someone occasionally lets out a pterodactyl screech.

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Today's look is a red suit with shoulder pads and scarf, worn while swiveling around in a desk chair and pressing an intercom to say "Phyllis. Phyllis. Phyllis? Bring me a Fresca."

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If Twitter gets the plug pulled, in six months you'll have to read the crappy novels we've all been avoiding finishing all this time.

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Replying to @nytimes: Leading New Zealand from isolation, Jacinda Ardern coaxed her “team of 5 million” into accepting extreme restrictions. The les…

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1:18 AM in Los Angeles makes me miss Canter's, eating pickles and perusing a giant menu under the ceiling of leaves while some guitarist from an '80s hair band sits two booths away.

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Quoted @business

It’s a modern dilemma for the ultra-wealthy: a yacht awaits, but how to safely reach it without exposure to the germ-ridden masses?

Dick and Linda clutch their two Teacup Yorkies--Chardonnay & Chablis--gazing at their 100 ft. Hatteras yacht, The One Night Stand, moored at a distance in the marina. But how to bypass the germ-ridden masses? Dick mutters woefully, "I need the open sea."

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Replying to @FeralCrone: Types of spiders:
-Shower lifeguard
-Windshield daredevil
-Big ol' son of a bitch
-Mailbox lurker
-Surprise—this is my bedr…

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Quarantine sucks in a house that's haunted because a message suddenly appears in blood on the wall, reading "YOU'RE ON DAY 4 OF THOSE PANTS."

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America: This is a solemn day of remembrance and mourning.
Also America: GONNA SCORE A MATTRESS DEAL AND DRUNK-DRIVE A BOAT.

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Leading New Zealand from isolation, Jacinda Ardern coaxed her “team of 5 million” into accepting extreme restrictions. The lessons of her success go beyond personality or charm.

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Types of spiders:
-Shower lifeguard
-Windshield daredevil
-Big ol' son of a bitch
-Mailbox lurker
-Surprise—this is my bedroom now!

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