Tim Webb. ( @funnyoldwhtguy ) Twitter Profile

funnyoldwhtguy

Tim Webb.

The backbone of America, by Day. Sleeping giant by night. Improv Comic all the time. Good dude.

Greenville,NC

Joined on 5 October, 2015

  • 362 Tweets
  • 798 Followers
  • 823 Following

Not to say I’ve a bad social life.. #ItJustSeemsABitOff

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There’s a front porch with rocking chairs and checker boards. There’s country music playing through the sound system, while they serve plates of deep fried cholesterol. They call it Cracker Barrel. Because let’s face it,that’s WTF it is.

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#StayAwayFromPeopleWho pretend to like you, but really don’t. I’d much prefer an honest enemy.

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I was not paying attention. #AndIDidntSeeItComing. Now it’s too late.

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Don’t get how this is a fun on. But here’s your Dick Pic ladies. Call me.

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First I got pulled in #AndThenIGotThrownOut

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How does the whole retweeting orgasms thing work? #TwitterMarriagesFAQs

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Weird Wednesday Photos

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Get me a President that doesn’t play golf. There’s a billion dollars right there.

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Can I get it from a toilet seat? #StupidPandemicQuestions

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#ICouldNeverPardon someone who ask me is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo.

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Those who tried to bury me, didn’t realize I was a seed.

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Condoms, chapstick, cellphone #InRedRidingHoodsBasket

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#PeopleLookAtMeAndThink, but mostly, they just look.

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Smile like you just got paid and laid. #FavoriteLifeHacks

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Stick with me Twitter, I might pull an Ol’ Yeller and save your ass from a bear someday.

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