Joel Newnham ( @newjoel ) Twitter Profile

newjoel

Joel Newnham

#ReadingFC supporter. #Tennis obsessive. #Smurfs are awesome. Record nostalgic top 40 shows on @mixcloud for fun https://t.co/fvBmLREC3q

London, England

Joined on 12 July, 2009

  • 2.9k Tweets
  • 1.1k Followers
  • 944 Following

Replying to @Maomentum_: How DARE three time election winner Tony Blair lecture double election loser Jeremy Corbyn on how to win elections?

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Replying to @benefit_monkey: The flooding is absolutely Boris Johnsons fault, we really needed a real PM who is able to combat the forces of nature.…

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#WhenTheyAreCranky terminate them. Or exterminate them. Same thing isn't it?

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#WhenTheyAreCranky it's not the time to announce you're having an affair

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#WhenTheyAreCranky give them a big mac

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#WhenTheyAreCranky thousands more viewers tune in

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#WhenTheyAreCranky entertain them, they'll feel stupid and contagious, here they are now, entertain them

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#InATimeOfCrisis release the clones of yourself that you've preserved in your basement, assuming you read the handbook

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#InATimeOfCrisis draw some of your own blood to check you're not a zombie

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#InATimeOfCrisis go back to your own time and then destroy the time machine

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How DARE three time election winner Tony Blair lecture double election loser Jeremy Corbyn on how to win elections?

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The flooding is absolutely Boris Johnsons fault, we really needed a real PM who is able to combat the forces of nature.

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#SportingSongsAndMovies umpire of the sun

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#SportingSongsAndMovies tennis things I hate about you

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Replying to @CorbynCorporal: Most at risk from coronavirus are older men. How long before Feminists claim that women aren’t getting their fair share…

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#AddChocolateMakeAnythingBetter back to the chocolate future

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#AddChocolateMakeAnythingBetter cement the cracks in the wall

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#AddChocolateMakeAnythingBetter pour it on boiled fish, boiled potatoes and boiled cabbage

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Most at risk from coronavirus are older men. How long before Feminists claim that women aren’t getting their fair share of the virus or snowflakes whinge about old people and Boomers getting most of the attention?

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#IAmChallengedTo eat 410lb of chocolate ice cream

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#IAmChallengedTo handle school on a day like this

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#RejectedCocktails oh no you are not turning me into no cocktail

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